BlueNote

The Elders of the Church -

2010-11-17T12:28:00.000-05:00

a short book, easy to read - lays down all the issues surrounding the office of elders. would recommend to anyone who's pursuing the office of eldership.

Brutish Master—

2010-11-12T12:05:00.000-05:00

What a brutish master sin is, taking the joy from one’s life, stealing money and health, giving promise of tomorrow’s pleasures and finally leading one onto the rotten planking that overlies the mouth of the pit. It is with honest praise to God I can look up tonight and rejoice in His loving-kindness in delivering me from a life of useless frustration and the ultimate agonies of the gnawing,

J. Elliot’s Attitude on Education—

2010-11-10T23:35:00.001-05:00

The acquisition of academic knowledge [the ‘pride of life’] is a wearing process and I wonder now if it is all worth while. The shiny paint laid on by curiosity’s hand has worn off. What thing better can a man know than the love of Christ, which passes knowledge? Oh to be reveling in the knowledge of Him, rather than wallowing in the quagmire of inscrutable philosophy! My philosophy prof

Jammin’—

2010-11-10T10:50:00.001-05:00

Walked out last night and realized how much I enjoyed just making music w/ friends – there was no agenda, no goal, no expectation, just playing music. As I was thinking about that, I realized that music will always be part of me and how much I enjoyed and appreciated this thing God has given me.

Monstrous Picture of Whales—

2010-11-08T15:00:00.000-05:00

For all these reasons, then, any way you look at it, you must needs conclude that the great Leviathan is that one creature in the world which must remain unpainted to the last. True, one portrait may hit the mark much nearer than another, but none can hit it with any very considerable degree of exactness. So there is no earthly way of finding out precisely what the whale really looks like. And

Challenge to Obey—

2010-11-08T10:56:00.001-05:00

ML introduced me to Larry Randolph. And this clip really struck me! For a few days, I’ve been seeking to hear the Word of God b/c I really felt his prompting to change a direction of my life. And the challenge I didn’t consider was, ‘Am I really ready to obey whatever he tells me?’ Over the years, I went from ignoring his voice [and so reaping the consequence] to cautiously following w/

Hope & Expectation—

2010-11-08T07:03:00.000-05:00

16 for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes. – Proverbs 24:16 I find this to very interesting - often when we think about tenacity and perseverance, we attribute it to one's own character. However, this verse says the 'righteous' rises again and the 'wicked' stumble. Maybe this has to do w/ one's faith in God - to trust him to

Elliot’s Credo—

2010-11-07T23:14:00.001-05:00

Before four-thirty that afternoon the quiet waters of Curary flowed over the bodies of the five comrades, slain by the men they had come to win for Christ, whose banner they had borne. The world called it a nightmare of tragedy. The world did not recognize the truth of the second clause in Jim Elliot’s credo: ‘He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” – Shadow of

Fellowship w/ the Contrite—

2010-11-07T00:10:00.000-04:00

‘For this is what the high and lofty One says—he who lives forever, whose name is holy:“ I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite.’ – Isaiah 57:15 We Americans want to eliminate pain altogether. And to that end, we’ll do anything and pay any price. We often look down w/ pity

On Jordan's Stormy Banks...

2010-10-31T00:18:00.000-04:00

words: samuel stennett music: christopher stennett i first learned this song while reading thru prof. al groves' blogs, as he was fighting thru the last stages of his cancer. and at his memorial service, this hymn left a huge impression on my life. since then, this has been one of my favorite hymns...so, in memory of our beloved professor from wts...

an amazing kid...

2010-10-25T10:42:00.000-04:00

then...and now...

G.E. Smith and the Saturday Night Band-

2010-10-22T23:15:00.001-04:00

miss the time when he used to play for snl...

Modern Day Demigods—

2009-11-18T11:13:00.001-05:00

We human beings are wired to seek heroes to worship. And even with the advancement of technology our propensity to appeal to higher authority has not changed. Even though the buzz word for modern day humanity is independence and personal freedom, we have never been so bound – we are bound to our technology; we are bound to our excessive spending, we are bound to pleasure;

musings of a cigarette-smoking man...

2009-08-31T21:06:00.002-04:00

‘How many historic events have only two of us witnessed together, Ronald? How often do we make or change history? And our names can never grace any pages of record… No monuments will ever bear our image. And yet once again tonight, the course of human history will be set by two unknown men, standing in the shadows.’ – Cancerman This has been one of my favorite X-file

what do i really want?...

2009-04-16T14:34:00.000-04:00

I realize that many times when I’m praying for something, I’m also struck w/ the thought, ‘Do I really want what I’m praying for?’ How many times have we heard people say, ‘when you get to the top, you realize that there’s nothing [and no one] there’ or ‘the joy is in the journey not in destination’? Most of the success stories are coupled w/ either sense of disappointment or boredom. I’m

Good Friday Reflections...

2009-04-10T12:27:00.001-04:00

“…I painted swiftly in a strange nerveless frenzy of energy. For all the pain you suffered, mama. For all the anguish this picture of pain will cause you. For the unspeakable mystery that brings good fathers and sons into the world and lets a mother watch them tear at each other’s throats. For the Master of the Universe, whose suffering world I do not comprehend. For

Atheism and Their Subtle Double Standards—

2009-04-06T12:31:00.000-04:00

I’ve been watching lot of Atheist/Theist debates online and can’t help to recognize the subtle double standards they use to refute theism. These are few: They use microevolution and by the use of inference, justify macroevolution [which is not observable scientifically]. On the other hand, they don’t allow theists the luxury of inference to argue for the

a second journey...

2008-07-17T00:56:00.002-04:00

Second Journeys usually end quietly with a new wisdom and a coming to a true sense of an adult who has regained equilibrium, stabilized, and found fresh purpose and new dreams. It is a wisdom that gives some things up, lets some things die, and accepts human limitations. It is a wisdom that realizes: I cannot expect anyone to understand me fully. It is wisdom that admits the inevitability of

A Case of Syncretism—

2008-07-16T12:21:00.000-04:00

The Christmas pageant was over—or so I thought. Christ’s birth to Mary and Joseph had been announced by angels, dressed in pure white. Their faces were brown and their message In Telugu, for we were in South India. The shepherds had staggered on stage, acting half drunk, but herding the smaller children down on all fours as the sheep. Not quite what I was reared to

barry harris NYC jazz workshop--

2008-07-01T09:24:00.001-04:00

Last night, I finally gathered enough courage to go to Barry Harris Jazz workshop in the city. When I entered and told the registrar that I wanted to register for the remainder of the year, he said, ‘hope you know what you’re getting into!’ I guess he didn’t realize that I’ve been playing music since I could remember. But, nevertheless, learning jazz for me is a

Indians and Their Biblical Last Names—

2008-06-28T00:03:00.001-04:00

I asked JY why some Indians have American last names. She corrected me and responded, “You mean biblical last names?” Then she went on to tell me that when Thomas came to India, lot of Indians changed their last names to Biblical names upon conversion b/c their native last names had references to Hindu deity. So, the explanation was that if you see an Indian w/ Biblical

A Cultural Pluralism in Teaneck, NJ—

2008-06-24T00:51:00.003-04:00

Last Sunday, TL and I looked thru a phone book trying to find a pizza restaurant around our church. Only thing we could find was a restaurant called ‘Pizza Cave’ – TL, using his imaginative mind pictured some caveman serving pizza. But, upon arrival we found out that the name was a misprint – it was actually called ‘Pizza Crave.’ There, we bought a kosher pizza made by

Civilization and Its Discontents—

2008-06-23T11:57:00.002-04:00

I cannot say I fully stand Freud. But, what I get from this book is the perspective of someone who holds to Atheistic/Evolutionary theory trying to deal w/ problem of guilt and aggression. Even if we take away the theistic worldview, the problem of sin and guilt still remains. And since the atheist rejects the idea of divine command theory, he needs to come up w/ a whole

Problem of Trust—

2008-06-19T00:50:00.001-04:00

“Only love empowers the leap in trust, the courage to risk everything on Jesus, the readiness to move into the darkness guided only by a pillar of fire. Trust clings to the belief that whatever happens in our lives is designed to teach us holiness. The love of Christ inspires trust to thank God for the nagging headache, the arthritis that is so painful, the spiritual

a prayer for the passionate misguided...

2008-06-13T15:29:00.003-04:00

Started praying for R. Dawkins and S. Hawking. Interesting observation – it seem like a lot of effective defenders of Christianity were once a staunch atheists or the ones who were once passionate about other religious teachings. I have a suspicion that maybe the ones who are furthest from the Truth is not the greatest opponents of religion, but lukewarm, complacent ones

Why is God only in South Korea—

2008-05-09T21:30:00.002-04:00

Watched another production on NK refugees. Unlike the last one, this was a motion picture production. But on both occasions, the same haunting phrase was uttered by a bitter North Korean character. It’s an outcry that demands, “Why is God only in South Korea?” The irony is the west, w/ all of her wealth and armed w/ scientific rationalism has been struggling hard to

a prayer to a suffering servant [rough draft]

2008-05-03T11:42:00.002-04:00

I’ll guard this post as long as you want me toBut, I want to escape, run to a paradiseSo, I prayed,‘Please, take me out of this misery of shadow of death!’The answer came,‘I will grant you your wish, if you ask long enough…But under one condition…That is: if I answer your request, accept it that our fellowship would be brokenFor I dwell in the land of suffering, where the broken hearts toilI’m

Challenge of Modern Mind: Loss of Sense of Sinfulness—

2008-04-22T23:39:00.003-04:00

“It is not simply, how can man be just with God, but how can sinful man be just with God? In the last analysis sin is always against God, and the essence of sin is to be against God. The person who is against God cannot be right with God. For if we are against God then God is against us. It could not be otherwise. God cannot be indifferent to or complacent towards that which is the

The Shadow of Christ in the Law of Moses, a memorable quote—

2008-04-18T01:52:00.001-04:00

“It is not accidental that the glaring socio-political and criminal problems of the late twentieth century concern matters where our society has turned against the specific directives of God’s law. Humanism has been taught in our schools and media; it has been practiced in economics, medicine, politics, and our courts. And the results have been a social disaster. Human life is treated as cheap

Josh and Caleb –

2008-04-11T00:21:00.001-04:00

Josh and Caleb goes behind the city wall. Have a conversation w/ Rahab. Finds out what goes on behind the huge wall…that all the hearts of the people have melted and they are living in fear.Sometimes God lets us see the big picture…sometimes he doesn’t. The times he does is to give us courage to fight on. The time he doesn’t is to challenge us to trust and follow. I wish I could go behind

GOD's business and mine...

2008-04-07T00:15:00.002-04:00

“He will lead you and not let you miss the signs. Rest in this: it is His business to lead, command, impel, send, call or whatever you want to call it. It is your business to obey, follow, move or what have you.” – Jim ElliotThank you for the reminder this morning that my life is under your loving sovereignty. I no longer want to try to figure out why’s until all is over. Rather, I want to

Judas—

2008-04-02T01:56:00.001-04:00

With Easter Sunday approaching, I’ve been hearing a lot of sermons on Judas Iscariot. I’m not sure if we could definitely know why he’s betrayed JC. But, from all of the preachers I’ve heard, they all seem to agree that perhaps it was his disillusionment of what JC did not turned out to be – instead of being the earthly king w/ earthly glory, he was headed to Jerusalem, the place of death and

Secret of Contentment—

2008-03-27T19:01:00.001-04:00

I’m finally learning the secret of contentment – it’s not pursuing, desiring or hoping for thing I don’t have [yet]. It’s on bathing in God’s goodness, remembering how he’s has met all my needs in the past and simply enjoying what He has provided me already. As long as my focus is on the things I don’t have, my view of God is someone who is depraving of all the good things that I should have,

Good Friday Reflections…

2008-03-20T20:57:00.002-04:00

Choice of Good Character in Serving God -

2008-03-17T16:22:00.001-04:00

We were supposed to have a student from … joining us this Sunday. But, when I called him to pick him up, he said, ‘something came up’ and won’t be joining us. Little bummed out, I asked if he could join next week. He said he’ll let me know by Tuesday. I wanted to give him another chance at it. But, TZ thought otherwise. His reasoning was what he did was utterly unacceptable as a professional

Roni Ben Hur—

2008-03-15T01:35:00.000-04:00

Had an opportunity to check out Roni Ben Hur and hang out w/ TL. We drove down to Montclair and after few missed turns and brief conversation about cow tipping, we arrive at our destination w/ 10 minutes to spare. The band leader was the widowed wife of John Hicks. And they played bunch of tunes written by him. Towards the end of evening, I had a new insight – I realized that even looking at

My Spiritual Boot Camp [Phase 2]—

2008-03-13T20:54:00.000-04:00

Here’s the next phase of my spiritual growth – ‘seek and destroy’: all these years of failed attempt on battling my sin has left me rather discouraged. It was only few days ago that I received the new insight from the Lord. And this is the fact that God, the Lion of Judah, the Warrior-King is living inside of me! But, b/c of my skewed perception of God, I ended up confining this lion on a

My Spiritual Boot Camp [Phase 1]—

2008-03-10T10:25:00.001-04:00

The 1st was a test of faith – to never to doubt the love of God, no matter what circumstances I’m under. Couple images that were revealed to me were: a) renewed vision of JC my high priest who intercedes for me each moment; b) JC’s uniting himself w/ me and experiencing every burden, suffering, pains of disappointment with me. He does not stand aloof, just watching me suffering thru the trials

footprints in the sand...

2008-03-08T09:55:00.000-05:00

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,Other times there were one set of footprints.This bothered me because I noticedThat during the low periods of my life,When I was suffering fromAnguish, sorrow or defeat,I could see only one set of

pre-sunday emotional ride...

2008-03-06T14:53:00.002-05:00

It’s has been tough few days of emotional ride. I’m recognizing an emerging pattern – it’s always the evening before my preaching Sunday, I have the hardest time concentrating and finalizing a sermon. There's always something that come up that make me be consumed w/ uneasy thoughts! It could be a spiritual attack, but can’t say conclusively. Anyhow, in order to deal with this, I should start

Paul Tripp and CCEF

2008-03-03T09:39:00.001-05:00

EM pastor’s conference was pretty amazing. It was good to get away for few days – long talk w/ JO on the way, hear PT speak on ‘Relationship – Mess worth making’. I must say that the Lord addressed things that were in my heart – that I’m an angry and bitter person; and that anger and bitterness resides in my heart; the circumstances are only the vehicle to which these emotions spill over. I

Rock Me to Sleep

2008-03-01T11:52:00.001-05:00

"Backward, flow backward, O tide of yearsI am weary of toils and tearsToil without recompense, tears all in vainTake them and give me my childhood againI have grown weary of dust and decayWeary of flinging my soul-wealth awayWeary of sowing for others to reapRock me to sleep, mother, rock me to sleep…" - Elizabeth Akers Allen

On Politics—

2008-02-26T23:44:00.004-05:00

“I don’t know if this sort of quiet, unsolicited honest can work in our rude, noisy politics, but it certainly is far more presidential than the dodging and fudging that you get from most candidates. It has been argued that Obama’s style is too cerebral, too elitist. That may be true. He assumes maturity in his audiences, in the press, that simply may not exist. But given the stakes in 2008,

if i can stop one heart from breaking

2008-02-22T10:57:00.002-05:00

"If I can stop one heart from breakingI shall not live in vainIf I can ease one life the achingOr cool one painOr help one fainting robinUnto his nest againI shall not live in vain" - Emily Dickinson

Worship Team Handbook—

2008-02-18T07:23:00.003-05:00

“It is true we have a more diverse, more accessible range of music available to us now than ever before. But not all of what’s out there is deep. The power of new forms of worship is not their funky grooves. Some music reduces worship to the experience of a TV show theme song: It grabs your ear long enough to make an identity for itself and to hold your attention for sermon. We have to ask,

who's in control -

2008-02-16T10:53:00.001-05:00

At first I saw God as my observer, my judge; keeping track of the things I did wrong so as to know whether I merit heaven or hell when I die. He was out there, sorta like the president – I recognized his picture when I saw it but I really didn’t know him. But later on when I met Christ, it seemed as though it was rather like a bike-ride. But it was a tandem bike and I

I worry when I—

2008-02-04T10:07:00.000-05:00

Add: more things to the already full schedule; pressure to my image and reputation; your expectation to my agenda; when I have to live up to what you have to be – makes me angry. Subtract: God’s presence for my crisis; his timing for my desires; prayer for my day; perspective from the moment of difficulty. – makes me doubt.

on corpse bride [review] -

2008-01-26T07:38:00.000-05:00

You could say it’s a cute movie with a cute fairy tale. But, in all honesty, I actually was a little disturbed by this only because of my recognition of social, spiritual trend of our western world. Playing off of this modernists ideal of the world left to be discovered and thus conquered, the message, seems to promote the audience to embrace what has been taught as evil

Interesting Discussion on Sexual Temptation—

2008-01-25T06:34:00.000-05:00

Contrary to popular belief, JO shared that in some cases, sexual temptation actually increases when Christian men get married. The possible reason we came up with is something like the way we take advantage our of Christian freedom and use it as an excuse for indulgence, rather than enjoyment. Those who grew up under rather repressed Christian homes, when they realize that

Dysfunctional Family Drama: Life of Jake in Gen 34—

2008-01-24T07:38:00.000-05:00

Moral indignation against Shechem is shown only by Simeon and Levi. When their acts were challenged by Jacob, they respond, “should he treat our sister as a harlot?” (Gen 34:31) One commentator notes this phrase, ‘our sister’, as opposed to ‘daughter of Leah…Jacob’ in the beginning is possibly due to the authors intention to bring out the idea of family split (between Leah

segregation, a new look-

2008-01-23T10:01:00.000-05:00

People would say that Sunday was the most segregated day of the week, as each members of ethnic groups go to the church services that serves their ethnic preference. But the more I think about it, racial/ethnic segregation w/in the Christian community is only the part of big picture. We also have to take into account the generational segregation. And I fear that w/ so

Matters of Faith [Reflection on Gen 24]—

2008-01-22T08:45:00.000-05:00

In faith, Abraham orients his entire life, even at death, on God’s promise (see 12:1-3, 7). Because he believes God’s promises of land and abundant offspring that will bless the earth, Abraham refuses to allow Isaac either to intermarry with Canaanites or to leave the Promised Land. Although Abraham acts on the basis of the promise, he does not presume upon it. The servant

The Screwtape Letters: A Memorable quote—

2008-01-19T21:42:00.000-05:00

Rest assured, my love for you and your love for me are as like as two peas. I have always desired you, as you (pitiful fool) desired me. The difference is that I am the stronger. I think they will give you to me now; or a bit of you. Love you? Why, yes. As dainty a morsel as ever I grew fat on. – C.S. Lewis I become increasingly convinced of the idea that evil is not

Lesson on trusting God (Gen 16)—

2008-01-16T07:59:00.000-05:00

Though Abraham received God’s promise of a son, after waiting nearly for 25 years, he, along with his wife Sarah has grown rather cynical about this ‘supposed promise from God’. Even so, Abraham learns to wait on God and hold off his plans to make Eliezer his heir. But, not for Sarah…she decides go take matters into her own hand. Of course the outcome is disastrous! The

Elijah/Eden Experience—

2008-01-13T07:51:00.000-05:00

Everything went right yesterday – worship was powerful; my preaching seemed to have touched number of people; had a good time discussing/learning about music w/ TZ; got reconnected w/ my former students in Parsippany. And yet, I went to bed quite depressed, haunted by sense of loneliness. This wasn’t the first time I felt this way...How my heart, in spite of all the good

New Drummer—

2008-01-12T17:19:00.000-05:00

BF finally joined us for worship. For the 1st time in long time, we had a full band! TZ and I both agreed that he might have over played for the 1st set of songs. But, it could be that he didn’t know the songs and/or that it’s been a while since he’s played music serious to semi-serious musicians. Nevertheless, I think he’s a very good fit for our team. He’s one of the

Lord gave back!!—

2008-01-11T10:04:00.000-05:00

Took a deep breath and decided to give all the extra cash I have to the church. The Lord gave me back even more – via Christmas gift, end of the year bonus [from church]. He’s been challenging me to give – and this challenge is also met by the promise of his provision and how he would take care of me. And He’s certainly keeping his end of bargain…=)

Tithes of Time—

2008-01-10T07:43:00.000-05:00

So, I decided to spend 2.5 hrs w/ the Lord. This includes the study of the Scripture, Journal Keeping as a way of prayer, prayer, singing praises, scripture memory and etc – sort of a worship. This will happen early in the morning (5:30 AM). I’m really doing this for my insanity, you know. I also realize that being in the ministry is like being in a battlefield…you don

Eternal Word and Changing Worlds – Memorable quotes:

2008-01-08T07:26:00.000-05:00

“Calvin worked in a heat of a pastoral charge in Geneva; Augustine did theology in the stress of preserving the church while the Roman Empire was collapsing; Luther, Athanasius, Spurgeon—all were pastors. They theologized, they hammered out theology meaningful to their problems and alive to their day.” (p. 303) Part of concern I have, as one who is in

prayer...

2008-01-07T13:30:00.000-05:00

Lord, whatever happens in my life, no matter what you allow me to go thru, this is one thing I’ll never do: I will never doubt your goodness. I know that everything happens in my life for a purpose that is best for me. It’s funny how…I don’t really feel sad nor depressed. I guess this is the change of heart that you’ve granted – though I don’t really know how long this would last – any day, my

learning to let go...

2008-01-05T07:29:00.000-05:00

Sunday was pretty interesting – GH had an emergency so there was no power point. My voice was shut b/c of this cold I had – and I couldn’t sing. AWCA changed the Sunday School building on us and b/c of that, no copy machine to print out bulletins…we literally had nothing – although, we were able to use this person’s laptop for projection. GB was literally typing out the powerpoint slides for

tithe and trust...

2007-12-24T17:02:00.000-05:00

I’m kinda running low on cash…I took a huge breath and gave as much as I could, though not enough to be a tithe. Casual part time job search has been pretty unsuccessful. For last several months Lord’s been faithful in providing me my monetary needs, all the while challenging my heart to take the chance and give to church. Wish I could say I obeyed, but was too afraid. Lord, don’t really know

prayer...

2007-12-13T20:08:00.000-05:00

"my JESUS, my LIFE, my ALL...i again consecrate my life to thee. i shall place no value in anything i possess or anything i do except in relation to thy kingdom and to thy service..." - david livingston

sufficiency of grace...

2007-11-29T12:28:00.000-05:00

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.2 Cor. 12:9Thank you for working thru my weaknesses and struggles…

AWCA banquet

2007-11-27T09:33:00.000-05:00

When I arrived, I hardly knew anyone. But, few minutes later, some of the church members started to show up – little more comforting.I’m realizing more and more that the people whom God’s calling me to minister is very different from the youth group kids I’ve been dealing w/ most of my ministry career. At times, I feel lot more comfortable talking to the teenagers/college people. Now that I’m

lecture on calvinism

2007-11-20T12:37:00.000-05:00

Just got done reading…here’s one of many memorable quotes: There is found hidden in Calvinism an impulse, an inclination, an incentive, to scientific investigation. It is a fact that science has been fostered by it, and its principle demands the scientific fact.How unbelievers try so hard to drive a wedge between faith/Christianity and evidence/science, when all along, the scientific mind has

joyce meyer conference

2007-11-17T02:35:00.000-05:00

It was a quite an experience going to a conference ran by a woman preacher…I think there were 1:4 men to women ratio. Moreover, most of the men there came w/ their wives or girlfriends. So, it was kinda weird feeling to be walking around w/ 2 other men. But, overall, her messages seemed very good. JO confirmed this – I could see a lot of what CCEF teaches…things like identity in Christ, fear

passing away...

2007-11-06T11:04:00.000-05:00

TZ’a dad passed away this week. Few years ago, his dad was only given few months to live. But that ended up being few years – he’s grateful for that. At least he thinks it coulda been lot worse. At church, it felt like he was doing well and that he appreciated the way our church has been praying for him. But, I know that he still feels certain grief and loss. Quite a feeling tho…the message

public enemy - christians; hate-literature - bible…

2007-11-05T10:47:00.000-05:00

Well, it’s already happening in the England, Canada along with various parts of western society. Liberals w/ homosexual agenda are trying side their case w/ racial discrimination, in spite of the fact that those who fought for the equality and human rights in 60’s are appalled by their attempt.. What's more alarming is that people in Christian circles are predicting that sermons, a form of

a day of worship services...

2007-11-04T00:44:00.000-04:00

Rough start today—I was printing my sermon and I ran out of the paper. Reloaded, and got a paper jam! Took me 20 minutes just to print this one last page!! Svc1 – River Church: definitely an off day! 1st song went well. But by 2nd song, I just couldn’t feel it; we weren’t together; choices of songs felt very disjointed. We had P’s father in law who’s a missionary to China/N. Korea come in

freedom?

2007-10-29T12:48:00.000-04:00

How we fight so hard to emancipate ourselves from the clutches of God, while prostrating in front of science and materialism. In seeking to be free, we have walked into the bondage of material universe, devoid of any spiritual, moral and emotional reality. The west has finally freed herself from God’s sovereignty. In so doing, we have walked straight into the trap of impersonal, materialistic

balance of caring and not caring...

2007-10-28T15:27:00.000-04:00

Glad to hear from TZ that I might even be ready for auditions now. I do look forward to getting a formal education in school…so far the class at Juilliard has been a confirmation of what I already knew, as well as a way to learn to articulate the stuff I knew intuitively. Looking back, I’m grateful that the Lord has led me thru my musical endeavor. Strangely, this is one thing that God did not

arrogance...

2007-10-26T08:47:00.000-04:00

JO spoke for IV praise/worship today. Once again, God allowed me to pick the songs that were appropriate to the message - people were blessed, touched…God continues to freak me out. Experiencing God’s work thru me should excite me. But, sometimes…just…sometimes, this is very burdensome b/c—a) I feel so inadequate of a vessel of such honor; b) more attack from the enemy – how I wish sometimes I

drummer...

2007-10-24T00:49:00.000-04:00

TZ gave me an update w/ BF…since he didn’t show a definite commitment, we are going to pursue YC – hope he’s still available. Only problem w/ YC – he tends to play too much. Btw, JC was a great addition for our worship team...he’s got great feel and has a good heart. On the bright side, our worship team is finally coming together. Hope we could recruit YC.I did mention about YC to TZ. I told

music of the night

2007-10-21T21:42:00.001-04:00

Close your eyes for your eyes will only tell the truthAnd the truth isn’t what you want to seeIn the dark it is easy to pretendThat the truth is what it ought to be…Phantom of the Opera (c.f. John 1:9-11)

unfit for the service of the kingdom

2007-10-20T13:15:00.000-04:00

Worship was pretty amazing. Finally met TZ’s wife and the thing she told me was very encouraging and scary…she shared how TZ’s been talking about me. She said how much he believed in me and how I had so much talent. All I can say is, it’s all God...people don’t have any idea what goes in my mind as I stand there leading music. There have been so many times when I didn’t ‘feel’ God or even

lookin' back: painful experiences and their purposes...

2007-10-18T12:00:00.000-04:00

Another revelation I received from the Lord – finally made sense of all of the painful experiences I had to endure last 33 yrs of my life. W/ every failed attempts, w/ all the pleading where the Lord didn’t seem to hear, but ruthlessly hurt me, I often wondered why I have to go thru w/ all those painful moments. Is it really necessary that I need to experience such turmoil in my life? I never

a new addition:

2007-10-17T09:57:00.000-04:00

JC joined us for bass – finally we’re gettin’ somewhere. Also, TZ tried J and said he was terrible. He did get a call from BF...hope it goes well…we desperately need a drummer, now that we have a decent bass player! Must be patient…Spent most of the day looking for a hardware store and fixing up my strat – I’ve waited long enough! I’m pretty satisfied with the result though…I never realized

suffering messiah in the midst of tragedy

2007-10-16T01:45:00.000-04:00

Spent most of the morning w/ JO, checking out potential retreat places and in personal devotion. For a devotional, we went to one of small ponds around his house. Walking around, I ran into a small memorial monument for the 9/11 tragedy. Spent some time praying for all those who has lost their loved ones in the tragedy. Pray that not only the Lord would comfort their spirits, that they’ll, w/

the four loves

2007-10-15T15:09:00.000-04:00

"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.

an evening of rememberance

2007-10-15T02:19:00.000-04:00

Spent the most of evening thinking, reflecting, going thru the photos of old youth group. I sure miss the house, the group (kids), DP (my roommate), missions trip, different activities. Funny, with all the struggles I had with the church, I don’t really remember the hard times. Rather, the things that really stick in my mind are all the good times we’ve shared w/ one another. Lord, how I want

prayer...

2007-10-10T10:18:00.000-04:00

Lord, that you would ease my heart, comfort my spirit and fill my soul with sense of wonder for you. To utterly give my life for the cause of the gospel, no matter what the cost is; that I would go wherever you’d lead me; that I would raise no questions, as long as the direction comes from you. Fill my heart with faith, govern my emotion with the passion for the realization of your Kingdom.

an escape to LORD's presence...

2007-10-09T10:43:00.000-04:00

Lord spoke to me once again this morning. All these times, I asked the Lord to have me escape to his presence – divorcing all the drama of human life and be taken to a secluded place where there would be just me and my Lord. I often told him how I didn’t want to face disappointment; how I didn’t want to have my heart broken; how I didn’t want to have my hopes dashed into pieces. But, He

MISSIONS VS. MUSIC

2007-10-08T19:36:00.001-04:00

after all these years, the LORD's finally leading me to a 'serious' music ministry. now that i'm planning to go back to school to get a music education, there's still this lingering thought that somehow i'm choosing something inferior. i know this was the big decision that i was faced w/ when i decided to pursue music ministry. but, knowing that there are people giving up their lives in

Objectivity in Music

2007-10-04T10:22:00.000-04:00

I used to think that music, along w/ all art forms, are just subjective expression of an artist – that it’s all about personal taste. Superficially, it might be true – every type of music has its own stylistic vocabulary. But, the more I learn about music, the more I realize that in the foundational level, there IS the aspect of objectivity. Few examples:1. How the Major and minor keys

TAKE THE A TRAIN

2007-10-03T00:49:00.000-04:00

Every time I take the A train to get to either Times Square Church or Lincoln Center, I get goose bumps. I used to play the song ‘Take the A Train’ back in high school jazz band. And now I’m actually taking the A train and walking around NYC! I remember when I visited the city few years back, I felt strangely drawn to the city. And few years later, I’m here!! Sometimes, God gives you things

FEW CHANGES

2007-10-02T14:17:00.000-04:00

finally decided to jump on facebook bandwagon...spent most of later morning collectin' and searchin' 'friends'...let's see how it goes...

WEEKEND UPDATE: being in ministry is watching GOD do all the work...

2007-10-01T12:33:00.000-04:00

Lets see…Last Saturday, had another opportunity to visit Binghamton to speak at a Korean fellowship. It was good to reconnect and get to know some students again. Hope that our relationship would continue as the Lord gives me more opportunities to go up and speak. Profound experience last Sunday worship: I personally thought that the closing song I chose was pretty weak – it’s pretty old song

places LORD takes you..

2007-09-23T00:53:00.000-04:00

Pretty overwhelmed these days…considering, my being one of the most disgruntled employee in the LORD’ payroll, he’s been more than gracious these days! I’ve never heard GOD speaking to me more than last couple of months! And funny how it’s often those ‘difficult times’ when I kick, scream and lash out at God are the times HE respond w/ gentle, soft words that drives me to tears. He doesn't