arrogance...

JO spoke for IV praise/worship today. Once again, God allowed me to pick the songs that were appropriate to the message - people were blessed, touched…God continues to freak me out. Experiencing God’s work thru me should excite me. But, sometimes…just…sometimes, this is very burdensome b/c—a) I feel so inadequate of a vessel of such honor; b) more attack from the enemy – how I wish sometimes I could stay in the sidelines, just cheering my comrades of the gospel…

Mom continues to remind me to be humble. But, the most difficult aspect of pride and arrogance is that we don’t recognize it. Even as I write this, I’m hoping that someone might read this and recognize how righteous I am—how disgusting!!! Too often, pride masquerades herself as humility…some of my most pious behaviors are crawling w/ most wicked self-serving, ulterior motives!

I fear riches; I fear attention; I fear fame; I fear success - I fear all these things b/c of what I might become…

Lord, may it never be…I rather be broken, utterly dashed into pieces than to be puffed up in the arrogance of my self-righteous pride.