unfit for the service of the kingdom

Worship was pretty amazing. Finally met TZ’s wife and the thing she told me was very encouraging and scary…she shared how TZ’s been talking about me. She said how much he believed in me and how I had so much talent. All I can say is, it’s all God...people don’t have any idea what goes in my mind as I stand there leading music. There have been so many times when I didn’t ‘feel’ God or even inwardly held certain level of hostility towards him for ‘lettin’ me down’ on some occasions. And yet, afterwards, people claim that they were blessed by my leading songs and that they felt God moving! It’s not that I’m being hypocritical – rather, that I just get amazed at how God uses me in spite of my weaknesses. At times like these, I feel so uncomfortable, out of place and unfit for the service of the Kingdom…